Hark all you women who are feeling the stress of the holidays: You are not alone, and you need to take your stress seriously!
While men and women both feel demands this time of year, women are more likely to report higher levels of stress.
Women typically spend more time organizing for family gatherings, decorating, shopping, wrapping and preparing food. While stress should never go unmanaged, these additional pressures over the holidays can lead some women to experience a life-threatening heart problem, according to Dr. Karla Kurrelmeyer, a cardiologist with Houston Methodist Hospital’s Heart and Vascular Center.
The condition is known as stress-induced cardiomyopathy and it is most common among women in their late 50s to mid-70s. It occurs when a short period of intense stress is compounded by trauma, such as a death in the family, a car accident or financial loss. The high levels of stress hormones weaken the heart’s ability to pump. Anyone who develops chest pains or shortness of breath after a period of emotional or physical stress should seek medical attention.
While most of us may not encounter such a severe situation, the fact is stress-relief should be a high priority for everyone. Getting exercise, getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, planning ahead and simply taking a break are all sound ways to lower stress.
But with big holiday celebrations just days away, these suggestions may seem impossible.
It may feel like the only way to escape stress is to cancel Christmas.
Fortunately, it is not always necessary to go that extreme.
Some changes here and there can bring balance and even joy to your holiday. First, think about what is most important to you and then make a reasonable goal. Give yourself permission to do less and, instead, focus on the people and experiences that are most meaningful. Finally, accept that many things lie beyond your control.
Remind yourself that you don’t have to solve every problem, and not all problems are yours to solve.
Personally, I learned to enjoy a simpler holiday by first letting go of “Christmas past”—you know, trying to do things the way my mother used to do it. The experiences she created were wonderful, but life today is not the same. It is not reasonable for for me to re-create the past.
I also began to ease up on my expectations. For example, I started to open up my home to guests even when things weren’t in perfect order. I didn’t want to miss out on a visit with dear friends just because I thought someone might stumble across a dirty sock or a pile of unwashed dishes.
Last year around this time, I had a more on my plate than usual. I had just moved and started a new position at work. I was worried about money and crunched for time. As Christmas inched closer, I settled into a survival plan. I did not decorate cookies. I did not host a big party. I decorated my home using the contents of just one box and set up a 4-foot artificial tree, pre-lit. I took advantage of online shopping, gift cards and gift bags. I sent out zero Christmas cards and instead opted to send out New Year’s cards a month later.
And the good news is: it was a great Christmas. I can vividly remember the feeling of my teenage son’s head leaning on my shoulder as we watched a holiday movie, a fire glowing in the fireplace, lights twinkling in the window. I don’t remember what I bought him as a gift or what he gave me. But I do know we felt warm, close and content. It is a moment that will always remind me to never underestimate the value of a simple celebration.
The column Mind Matters is a regular column of the Niagara Gazette and Lockport Union-Sun Journal. Re-printed by permission.
Pamela Szalay is the Director of Community Education at the Mental Health Association in Niagara County, Inc. in Lockport, NY and provides educational presentations and workshops on mental health topics for the community. You can reach her by email.
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